


A New Dawn

by thegrumpiestkuki



Series: Afterwards [3]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: I know these tags look rough but it's mostly happy, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, References to Past Sexual Assault, Smut, Urie is submissive because the author says so, i promise there is a bit of plot too, reference to Urie's unreasonably long tongue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:34:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26062768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrumpiestkuki/pseuds/thegrumpiestkuki
Summary: Mutsuki gets the sex fest he was previously promised by Urie and they make plans for their future together.
Relationships: Mutsuki Tooru/Urie Kuki
Series: Afterwards [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842880
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	A New Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

Mutsuki smoothed down the bedsheets next to him while he watched Urie rifle through the bedside table. He made a triumphant noise and chucked a box and bottle next to Mutsuki who picked them up. Condoms and lube would be used this time it seemed. He suppressed a grin, Urie really did care about his safety. They had started talking a little more about the important things as of late, whether they wanted a family, their futures separately and together (to which Urie argued that for him they were one and the same) and maybe mostly importantly, their pasts.

It hadn’t been easy, nor had they been able to get through it all at once, but the both of them found comfort in each other while retelling their pasts from their point of view. Their triweekly phone calls had even been upgraded to a daily status. It was nice to finally be able to confide in someone other than his therapist about his past, and he felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted from his heart. Mutsuki supposed that the only negative part of it all was having to deal with taking calls from so many people. They were bothersome. He glanced over at the easel in the corner of the room. Though it was clearly unfinished, he could tell that it was the beginning of some sort of skylight. Soft yellows and pinks threaded across the stretch of the canvas. Perhaps it was a sunset…or maybe a sunrise?

Mutsuki held up the box, tapping a painted fingernail-curtesy of Saiko-against it “You know, we don’t _really_ need these. I’m on birth control”

“We should be extra careful this time so nothing could happen that would impact you badly”

“You can say pregnancy, Kuki, it’s not a bad word”

Urie worked at his jaw and looked like he wanted to say more but seemed to decide against it because he nodded and sat on the bed, legs crossed.

Mutsuki giggled, noting Urie’s small, almost nervous smile. He leaned forwards until he was almost sitting in Urie’s lap and pressed their lips together. Their kisses were light at first, barely there touches of skin, tasting like the toothpaste they had used minutes earlier. Mutsuki drew back a little to look up at Urie who licked his lips and gazed almost hungrily at Mutsuki’s own. They both smiled at their reluctance to push the other further and drew together again. Urie’s hands snaked around Mutsuki’s body, pressing them closer together. Urie opened his mouth slightly, allowing for Mutsuki’s tongue to slide between his teeth. 

The last time they had kissed like this it had been a frenzied, rushed affair, both of them teeming with desperation. This moment was different. They made sure to take their time. Mutsuki’s fingers slid into Urie’s hair, tugging a little at the strands. At first, he wasn’t so sure, but now he knew that he was a fan of the new look. Mutsuki’s mouth strayed from Urie’s and began to plant kisses along his sharp jaw, leading downwards to the pale column of his neck. Urie rewarded him with a soft groan when Mutsuki began to suckle at the skin and he groped at Mutsuki’s ass in response. Mutsuki let out a small squeak at that.

“Sorry” Urie said, his voice hoarse from the kissing “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a long time. I’ll stop”

Mutsuki’s hands shifted to bring Urie’s back to where they were “I didn’t say stop, I was just surprised”

While Urie’s hands were otherwise occupied, Mutsuki made work of the buttons on Urie’s shirt, cursing his boyfriend’s penchant for formal clothing. He shuffled on his knees, hoping to create more space so he could get rid of the shirt, but Urie made a pleased noise and pulled him closer. Mutsuki let go of Urie’s shirt, body curving against his, the former task quickly forgotten.

After a few minutes of distraction, Mutsuki withdrew, now sitting beside Urie, instead of on top of him “Can we get started?”

Urie’s glanced at Mutsuki’s thighs, still breathing hard, then quickly looked away. Mutsuki could almost visualise the alphabetically organized list of worries he was currently running through in his head.

He sighed and abruptly pushed Urie, making him fall flat against the bed. Urie stared up at him, expression dancing with wonder.

“Kuki”

“Yeah?” He asked a little breathlessly.

“Tell your internal monologue to shut the fuck up” Mutsuki said as he crawled up his body and straddled Urie’s waist. Hands traced Urie’s torso, splaying against the expanse of muscle. Maybe Urie’s gym habit was good for something other than building strength.

He looked a little stunned at first but then nodded “What else?”

Oh? Mutsuki had thought that Urie’s worry about pushing him too far was why he waited for him to initiate everything, but maybe that wasn’t the whole truth. It seemed there was another reason he wanted Mutsuki to be in control. That was…interesting. He could work with that.

“I want you to take your shirt off for me”

Mutsuki stared a little shamelessly as he watched Urie undress. Sure he got to see glances of his boyfriend’s chest when Urie came out of the shower wearing only a towel around his waist, and a small peek last time they had been intimate due to the rushed nature, but staring at him now, he knew that really would never be enough for him. Urie’s gaze dropped to his own shirt which he had neglected to take off and he followed suit, confidence dwindling as he took off his binder. However, when he looked up at Urie once it was off, he wasn’t met with the haunting gaze of a man. All he could see was Urie’s love for him. He breathed a small sigh of relief.

Last time they had been intimate Urie hadn’t let Mutsuki try to give him any sort of pleasure, he instead insisted on attending to each and every one of Mutsuki’s needs, including those he hadn’t been aware of. Mutsuki had been waiting for months now to return the favour and fuck, he had grown impatient. His fingers teased down Urie’s torso, brushing over the dark strands of hair that trailed below his pants. Urie’s eyes watched, dark and wanting, yet his expression remained otherwise restrained. Mutsuki knew he was doing it on purpose so that he wouldn’t feel bad if things became too uncomfortable and they had to stop. A challenge.

“You made me wait months for this and wouldn’t even let me have a say. You didn’t take the time to think that maybe I didn’t need romantic gestures. That was shitty of you” Mutsuki hoped that his voice didn’t betray his nervousness.

Urie looked quite guilty following Mutsuki’s admission, and Mutsuki almost felt bad. Almost. He deftly unbuttoned the pants and pulled the zipper down, maintaining eye contact. As he began to softly palm at Urie’s erection, he could see his resolve begin to finally crack. Urie let his eyes flutter shut and brought his mouth into a tight line, always careful not to make noise.

“Keep your eyes open or I’ll stop” Mutsuki ordered.

In truth, Mutsuki had absolutely no idea what he was doing in a practical sense, but Urie had utilised the internet’s knowledge prior to the first time and succeeded so why couldn’t he. His hand tentatively dipped below Urie’s boxers and took his dick out. They were kinda weird, penises. Especially when you got to look at them up close, like weird little fleshy worms. At least thinking of them as that helped him to keep calm. It was okay. It was just Urie. It was weird.

Mutsuki wrapped his hand around Urie’s dick, using his other hand to push his boxers down further for better access, though he’d be lying if he said the extra nudity wasn’t a benefit. Sure, he and Urie had started as friends, but even then, he wasn’t blind. Urie really was very handsome. Mutsuki began to move his hand up and down the way he’d seen people do it online. Urie’s expression looked slightly strained, yet he seemed determined to stay quiet. That wouldn’t do.

“You know, when I’m away from you I think about this a lot” He said casually, watching Urie’s face for any sign of interest.

“O-oh? You do?” Urie said, swallowing hard. His hands fisted the sheets as if they would help him hold back.

Mutsuki in response to the question “Mmm, after you hang up the phone. When I can remember exactly what you sound like”

It was also the only time Aura left him alone because he assumed that Mutsuki would be sad, not that Urie needed to know that.

Urie blushed, to Mutsuki’s amusement. He liked to see Urie like this. It wasn’t very often he got to see him come undone from his typically controlled façade.

“How about you?”

“I…I-um” Urie fumbled with his words as Mutsuki dragged his thumb over his slit experimentally.

Urie seemed to like that.

Mutsuki repeated the action a few times, twisting slightly with the flick of his wrist. He hoped that wasn’t hurting Urie, it looked like it would hurt but Urie was making small, content noises so Mutsuki kept at it. Urie let out a needy whimper that sounded an awful lot like Tooru. Finally. Mutsuki smiled lazily at his boyfriend, hoping he could get him to make that noise again. He felt an almost heavy feeling in the lower part of his own body, something he had become familiar with during his nights alone. Urie momentarily looked embarrassed but that emotion was quickly replaced with wanting when Mutsuki picked up the pace.

“Fuck… **f-fuck**. Faster, _please, Tooru_ ” Urie urged desperately as he sloppily thrusted upwards into Mutsuki’s hand.

Please. Now what was a word that wasn’t heard from Urie very often. Mutsuki smirked

“You didn’t answer my question earlier” He admonished.

Urie stared at him, looking slightly pissed off at having been interrupted “I, uh. Well you know that I do, think of you. Remember I’ve told you be-“

Mutsuki rolled his eyes “Can I give you a blowjob now?”

Urie’s eyes widened “Yes”

Mutsuki shuffled down Urie’s body a little further, tugging off the annoying boxers all the way and unceremoniously throwing them on the floor later. Urie must have been excited, he didn’t even tell him off about wrinkling his clothes today. Mutsuki fixed his hand around Urie’s dick and lowered his mouth to the head, tongue flicking out. He made a face at the disgusting liquid he came in contact with. It tasted like bleach smelt like, gross. Mutsuki wiped away the remnants of it and opened his mouth wider, sucking on the head. The taste wasn’t too bad now, it was just salty, sweaty skin. He was familiar with the taste of that thanks to some of his more problematic endeavours of the past. Above him, he was vaguely aware of Urie moaning softly. Urie’s hands moved from the bedsheets to Mutsuki’s hair, pushing down on his head slightly.

No. No. No. I can’t. I need to escape. Haise come save me.

“ **STOP!** ” Mutsuki cried out, letting go and pushing away until he was sat on the floor panting.

Mutsuki blinked a few times. He wasn’t with Torso anymore. He still had his limbs. Urie was touching him, not Torso. He raised his gaze to meet Urie’s. He looked terrified and Mutsuki knew that if he didn’t quickly reassure him, Urie wouldn’t touch him for the next few months. It was equal parts comforting and irritating. He didn’t want to be treated like a fragile little doll but the clear reluctance to hurt him in any way was reassuring. In Urie’s presence he felt calm and in control. In control, but not controlling. It was good. He would do the same thing in Urie’s position. He could trust Urie.

“I’m sorry, Kuki” Mutsuki said, getting onto his knees and crawling back towards the bed “Let me continue”

“Wait” Urie held his hand out in a stop gesture “What was that? How can I help?”

Mutsuki bit his lip, wondering if he should be honest. He decided that he should be, Urie deserved that “When you pushed me down…it just reminded me of…stuff”

“ _Oh_ , Tooru. We should stop. We can go shower then we can-“

“-No!” Mutsuki protested. He did want to do this. It would just be hard sometimes, that’s what his therapist said anyway. He could do it, he wanted to.

“Tooru…”

Mutsuki ran his hands along Urie’s thighs. They had a lot of muscle on them. A loooot. Torso had hardly any.

“Please, let me try?”

“Only if you promise to tell me if you want to stop at any point” Urie said, scrutinizing his face for any signs of lying.

“I promise”

Urie still looked a little hesitant but he nodded anyway.

Mutsuki propped himself up on his knees, still sitting on the floor and pulled Urie’s body a little closer to him so that his legs dangled off the bed. He kept one hand on Urie’s thigh and curled his free hand around Urie’s dick again. It had softened significantly, and it reminded Mutsuki even more of a worm. He let out a small giggle, pressing kisses to it as it began to harden again.

Urie’s hand came to rest over Mutsuki’s on his thigh, squeezing it and Mutsuki hummed contentedly.

“I think about this a lot too” Urie said softly, awaiting Mutsuki’s reaction.

Oh, he wanted to talk too. Mutsuki felt his face warm slightly. It was one thing to think of these things by himself, or even solely act upon them too…but to have Urie enact exactly what he wanted. Fuck. He squeezed Urie’s hand again, a signal to let him know it was okay and started sucking lightly on the head of his dick again.

“I’ve been thinking about you like this. On your knees” Urie sounded a little ashamed but he continued “Sometimes I think about fucking you against the wall too”

Mutsuki dug his nails into Urie’s thigh, hoping he would get the message to continue.

“I wanted to- _Mmhm_ \- all the time when we lived together. I- **fuuck** -just wanted you touching me”

Mutsuki peeked up at Urie, who met his gaze, face flushed and mouth slack with gratification. It was a nice view. This was good, it was gentle. Urie would never push him.

“Anything else?” Mutsuki asked, opening his mouth a little wider.

“Well-” Urie hesitated “-No, nothing”

Liar.

“Are you going to continue _lying_ to me, Kuki?” Mutsuki asked, working his mouth deeper and deeper at a tantalizingly slow rate. His throat hurt slightly, but it was bareable, enjoyable even, when he considered the reaction he was teasing out of Urie.

“No, I just-“ He paused on his attempt to speak as his groans grew louder and his hips twitched as if he wanted to thrust upwards. Yet, he resisted. Mutsuki was a grateful that Urie didn’t, he wasn’t sure that he could handle doing that yet. Mutsuki felt an almost burning feeling in his lower regions, his own pair of pants began to feel a little uncomfortable with stickiness.

“Just…” Mutsuki prompted.

“I think of you taking me”

Taking? What did he…oh. _Oh_.

He hummed “Maybe next time we can try”

Urie let out a soft groan, though Mutsuki wasn’t sure if it were because of his response or his renewed efforts. Urie’s hand clawed at Mutsuki’s own, careful to avoid touching his head like before. Mutsuki was glad that his boyfriend had made sure to cut his nails recently, or blood would have surely been drawn by now. He swirled his tongue the same way he had seen someone do online.

Urie suddenly tugged at his arm “If you don’t stop, I’m going to finish already”

Mutsuki let go with a loud pop, wiping the saliva that had made its way onto his chin. He felt a little gross but with Urie staring at him like that, he couldn’t really bring himself to feel self-conscious anymore.

“Was that okay?” He asked.

“ _Okay?_ ” Urie asks incredulously “Yes”

Point two to the internet forum.

“Can I have my turn now?” Urie asked, gesturing to the lower part of Mutsuki’s body that was still situated on the floor in front of the bed.

“Oh, you don’t need to”

“No, Tooru you-“

“-Kuki” Mutsuki cut him off before he could go on another rant about needing to make sure he was completely comfortable. It was comforting, but unnecessary “It’s not that. I’m already wet”

Urie’s eyes widened as they met the sight of Mutsuki’s damp boxers when he stood “Wow”

When a few silent moments had passed, Mutsuki raised an eyebrow “Sooo, can you stick it inside me now?”

Direct. That was direct, right? Please be correct, strange internet forum.

Urie looked for a moment as if he were going to agree before shaking his head and hovering over the article of clothing “No. I want to”

Oh, he wanted to. Mutsuki nodded and laid down in response, resting against the pillows.

Urie gestured for Mutsuki to lift his hips and removed the boxers, leaving Mutsuki bare. Mutsuki closed his eyes as Urie lowered his mouth. Although he knew he could trust Urie and that his boyfriend didn’t see him as anything other than a man, It would probably take some time for him to get used to the stare of the male gaze on the parts of him that were so _disgustingly_ female. He wasn’t even sure what Urie saw in him sometimes, he was handsome and intelligent and most importantly a good person. He could have anyone. So why did he-

“Hey” Urie said gently, pulling him from his thoughts “I’m here. I’m here with you”

And he was, Urie looked at Mutsuki as if he were everything he’d ever wanted. He knew every awful thing about him and still wanted to be with him. This was okay, they were okay. 

“What do you want me to do?”

Mutsuki recognised the question as an extension of power. He could be in control. Urie was letting him in control. Urie wanted him in control.

“I…lick?” Asking for what you wanted really was much harder than it seemed. What he really wanted was for Urie to just bury his head between his thighs and have his way with him.

“Lick _where?_ ” Urie teased, licking at a spot on Mutsuki’s thigh. So close. So close, yet not enough.

He squirmed “You know where”

“I don’t”

“Kuki, I swear to god, if you don’t _get on with it_ -“

“Or what, you’re going to punish me?”

“Maybe I will” Mutsuki snapped, not intended for his words to come out as cruel as they did. All of this teasing was so unfair.

Urie, however, looked somewhat pleased at the prospect of that happening. What a kinky bastard, Mutsuki mused. Despite not having received any instructions, he seemed to take hint of Mutsuki’s flustered state and Urie pressed forward. He dragged his tongue softly against Mutsuki’s pussy, so gentle, too gentle for Mutsuki’s liking.

“I’m not going to break”

Urie ignored him, sucking small bruises onto the inside of his thighs, tongue teasing over the tormented skin. When he seemed to be satisfied, his attention strayed back to Mutsuki’s folds. Urie left a smattering of kisses, seemingly revelling in Mutsuki’s squirming. He was so desperate at this point. Mutsuki pushed Urie’s head down in response to the teasing and Urie took the point. His arms rested upon Mutsuki’s thighs, spreading them apart wider for better access, before dragging his tongue up and down, his actions becoming rougher and rougher as Mutsuki began breathing heavily.

“Your tongue is so long” Mutsuki sighed blissfully, recalling that time he’d reached frame three at the Auction. Shit. He didn’t mean to say that out loud. How embarrassing. He hoped Urie wouldn’t be put off by his admittance, not that he had the right to be, Urie had admitted to thinking about him sexually since that night too.

Urie chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to his hipbone. He gave an experimental lick to Mutsuki’s clit, looking up to determine Mutsuki’s response, and when he let out a particularly loud moan, he continued to hit that spot over, and over and over-

“ _Ku-please, just-Kuki please. I-fuck_ ” Mutsuki begged incoherently. He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted, but he knew for sure that he didn’t want Urie to stop anytime soon. 

Urie ceased his activity and licked his lips, looking thoroughly recked as he smirked “Who’s impatient now?”

He huffed in annoyance “Please Kuki, I just-I _need_ ” He lifted his hips in a desperate and futile attempt to regain some friction.

Urie rested on his elbows, looking into Mutsuki’s eyes cautiously “I can continue, but did you want to…”

Mutsuki scoffed. Urie was such a direct person when it came to everything else, to the point of slight assholery. Though, he could admit that his frustration towards Urie was somewhat sourced from his oncoming orgasm having been interrupted. 

“If we do, will you stop teasing?”

Urie shifted, moving so that he hovered over Mutsuki. He smirked down at him, tucking a strand of Mutsuki’s hair behind his ear “I’ll make you cum”

Mutsuki shivered “You’re not shy anymore?”

“I wasn’t shy, I wanted to make things good for you” Urie muttered “Do you want to be on top this time, to give you more control?”

Mutsuki chewed his lip as he thought about it. Last time Urie had been on top and that went well. He hadn’t had any flashbacks or reminders. They should go slowly when it comes to trying new things”

“No, I want it to be the same as last time”

Urie frowned at the sight of Mutsuki’s bitten lips “I’m buying you more lip balm”

“That’s not very sexy” Mutsuki grinned up at him.

Urie laughed that beautiful, rich laugh that Mutsuki had heard that night with Saiko “Shut up”

Urie moved his hand down, separating Mutsuki’s legs as he slowly pushed inwards, keeping their foreheads pressed together as he did. Mutsuki closed his eyes. His hands raked over Urie’s shoulder blades, nails digging into the flesh. There was a slight burn to the intrusion, and not the nice kind of burn like he’d experienced earlier, but it hurt less than the first time.

“Okay?” Urie asked, panting once he was completely inside.

Mutsuki nodded “Mmm. Just…go slow, okay?”

As Urie began to gently thrust Mutsuki felt almost boneless. All of the pent-up emotion left his body, leaving him in a blissful state. Once upon a time he would have never thought sex could feel like this. He’d always imagined there to be some oppressive power dynamic at play, but with Urie it was nothing but mutual. He could let himself enjoy it, they both could.

Urie’s muscles felt so tense under his hands, it must have been a big effort for him to hold back like he was right now. Mutsuki tilted his hips like he’d seen in the diagrams online, apparently it was supposed to- _ **oh.**_

“Kuki” Mutsuki whimpered “ _Faster_ ”

“Faster?”

“ _Please_ ” Mutsuki wrapped his legs around Urie’s waist, forcing him closer.

Urie made a slightly chocked noise but did as asked. He settled into an unrelenting rhythm, hips snapping roughly against Mutsuki’s. He tilted his head downwards so they could kiss, a harsh, messy clash of tongue and teeth. Mutsuki whimpered when Urie propped himself up more, leaning on one elbow while his free hand snaked between their bodies. Everything was so overwhelming, even more so as the warmth surfaced again, consuming him.

Urie’s soft fingertips circled at a fast pace, coaxing more of that intoxicating feeling. Mutsuki’s nails dragged across his back, ensuring that marks would be left. It all felt like too much, but in the best possible way. It was just too-

“ _Kuki_ ” Mutsuki gasped against his mouth “I’m gonna-“

Urie didn’t respond, instead he worked his tongue inside Mutsuki’s mouth as his thrusts became erratic. Mutsuki’s mouth went slack as the dull, warm sensation overtook him. If he were an emotional painter like Urie, maybe he would compare it to that beautiful sunrise settled in the corner of the room. Urie let out a groan, the sound stifled only my Mutsuki’s lips, before collapsing against him.

They stayed as they were for several moments, minds fuzzy in the aftermath of euphoria. That was, until the feeling of Urie’s weight began to feel suffocating and Mutsuki lightly pushed him off.

“Move, you’re heavy”

Urie chuckled and pulled out, both of them wincing at the feeling. He got up and disposed of the condom then laid back down, propping himself up on his side, his gaze lingering on Mutsuki. Mutsuki sighed happily. When he moved back to the city, they could do this all the time. Maybe after a while, his past would no longer partake in haunting the activities. It would be nice to see Urie more often now that they had moved past most of their problems and were beginning to work on the remainder.

“I was thinking…would you be interested in coming to live here in the near future?”

  
So Urie was thinking the same thing as him. He really wanted to be with him, they could have a future together.

Mutsuki looked at him. Urie’s look was hopeful, yet fragile, as if a rejection could crush him. Urie had been understanding the last time Mutsuki had rejected him, even if Mutsuki hadn’t known he was doing so, but now he had nothing to worry about “I think I want to, I miss you a lot. I don’t know how well I’d cope with roommates, though. I spend a lot of time in my room alone normally”

Urie’s hand rested on Mutsuki’s hip, rubbing small, soothing circles “I was thinking it could be just us”

Just them. They could wake up in the same bed each day and watch the sun rise as they drank coffee. They could drive to work together and come home together every day. They could go grocery shopping as often as Mutsuki wanted. Maybe when he was feeling up to it, they could even have sleepover nights with their friends. They could have a proper chance of a future together.

“I’d like that”

Urie’s face lit up “I’m going to make it good for us I promise”

Mutsuki didn’t need Urie’s promise to know that things would be okay, but he delighted in it anyway. He was learning every day that they all had the potential to grow from what they once were. The days of a troubled Tokyo were starting to be over, and from it they would all rise like phoenixes from the ashes.

“Tooru” Urie said.

“Mmm?” He hummed.

“You should get up to pee”

“Kuki, if you quote health facts at me I’m gonna hit you with this pillow”

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing any sort of smut and good god is it difficult to find different ways to expand on descriptions. I tried to make the sex between them kind of awkward because i feel like realistically the second time people have sex is still typically quite clumsy. I think that I will write a sfw part four for the series involving Juuzou (because I love the brotp). If you have anything you’d like me to include in the next part, let me know! I’m also planning on writing some more smut in general bc I am nothing but a horny and self-indulgent human. The other smutty things I write will probably be less sad/more stereotypical because they won’t be attached to a plot like this one.


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